Most of the time this how a conversation starts. To the question “How are you” or “How are you doing” the response is usually automatic “I’m fine” or “I’m ok” or just “Ok”. And the tone we say fine and OK, most of the time it’s sad and without life. We almost never realise this automatism we made.
We answer in a way that even we aren’t convinced that we are fine. We just don’t want to bother the other person with our problems. The thing is the other person doesn’t want to hear your problems and he expects that you will answer “I’m ok” and move on.
We use this question and this answer so often that we don’t even realise what are we saying. Don’t you think that is weird?
A few years ago I read an article about this subject on a motivational site. The article was about the power of words and the way we use them could change and brighten our day.
Even this simple form of salute and a simple answer can have an amazing effect over us. The trick is to change the way we use the words.
For example when someone ask you “How are you doing” instead of answering “I’m fine” you could answer “I’m doing great” or “Amazing” or “Extraordinary” or maybe a even different awesome answer you can think of ( “Awesome” could be a great answer). Responding in this way you could break the pattern of automatism.
I started doing that. I started to answer with “I’m doing great” when people asked me “how are you doing”.
At first is seemed strange. I’ve answer countless time “I’m fine” and after that move on. Never realising I was even answering sometimes. But after a while it felt more comfortable and the amazing thing it’s that you start wondering yourself “How I am doing? I am really doing great, or I’m answering again automatically”. Most of the time I was doing great. Even I had some problems, It didn’t matter because I was really doing great.
And it’s a mood changer. Every time I use this answer “I’m doing great” I can’t help myself having a big smile on my face.
The greatest thing it’s the reaction of the other person. They doesn’t expect that answer. They look puzzled at you and most of the time they can’t help themselves to ask “Why?”.
Try next time to answer with one of these words when someone ask you “How are you doing”:
- ….. and any other synonyms you can think of.
Try to put a big smile also while you are it.
And try to brighten your day.