I had a sudden insight today. Goals and desires won’t be achieved until they transform into something real until they become an obsession. Only in the moment when the only thing that you think about it’s that particular goal, only then that goal will go on the course of becoming reality.
Until then the goal it’s just a wish. Something that you say to make yourself feel good. Something that you look upon, but you never really dare to go to.
When I realised this, I was sitting on a bench. Eating some pizza and listening a podcast on my phone. Looking at the pigeons that were swarming around me.
I feel enlightenment for a moment. And I’ve realized that only the goals that became obsessions for me, were the goals that I managed to achieve. Looking back on my 27 years of life, it happened only two or three times. To have some goals that became so obsessive to me, that if didn’t achieve them, I felt the world, my world, would be finished and the sky would fall down.
This is how I make the difference between a goal and an obsession. The goal is something that you could fail. The obsession is something do or die. The obsession is something that it eats your mind and soul, day and night, one after another. It becomes the thing that you only think about. It transforms into your very own being.
On the other side, sometimes I get scared. I can’t even phantom what I’m describing here, and at the same time, I’m living it.
Why do I get scared? Because, sometimes, because of our obsession we tend to shut down everything else. Nothing else matter, beside the obsession. And we will achieve the obsessive goal, but at what cost? Will the end result be on the scope of expectations? Or it will feel flat, like a ball crushed under a hydraulic press?
I’m looking at the goals that is haunting my night. And yes, it’s goalS, there is more than one obsession, entangled between them, leading to an end goal. Do you know how I know that it became from a mere wish, an obsession?
I can’t see beyond it. Sometimes, you can see how it would be if you would fail. You have the so called plan B. But in my case, there is no plan B. And that is scary sometimes. But at the same time, this means that something inside me is sure that I have the power to achieve what I want. And that is encouraging.
How do you feel about your goals? Do you become obsessive regarding them?